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众所周知，文书部分能够占到申请成功率的 30%-40% 。深圳金吉列留学带大家欣赏一下刚过去的 2018 年入学季，什么样的文书才能美国排名第 11 名的约翰霍普金斯大学录取？
Esaay 1
An on that Note
The soun was lou an iscorant, like a hurricane, high notes an low notes mixing together in an auible mess. It was as if a thousan booming foghorns were in a shouting match with sirens. Unlike me, this was a little abrasive an lou. I like it. It was completely unexpecte an extremely fun to play.
Some instruments are built to make multiple notes, like a piano. A saxophone on the other han oesn’t play chors but single notes through one vibrating ree. However, I iscovere that you can play multiple notes simultaneously on the saxophone. While practicing a concert D-flat scale, I messe up a fingering for a low B-flat, an my instrument prouce a strange noise with two notes. My ban teacher got very excite an exclaime, “Hey, you just playe a polyphonic note!” I like it when accients lea to iscovering new ieas.
I like this polyphonic soun because it remins me of myself: many things at once. You assume one thing an get another. At school, I am a course scholar in English, but I am also able to amuse others when I come up with wince evoking puns. My math an science teachers expect me to go into engineering, but I’m more excite about making films. Discussing current events with my friens is fun, but I also like to share with them my secrets to cooking a goo scotch egg. Even though my last name gives them a hint, the Asian stuents at our school on’t believe that I’m half Japanese. Meanwhile the non-Asians are surprise that I’m also part Welsh. I feel comfortable being unique or thinking ifferently. As a Stuent Ambassaor this enables me to help freshman an others who are new to our school feel welcome an accepte. I help the new stuents know that it’s okay to be themselves.
There is ae value in mixing things together. I realize this when my brother an I won an international Kavli Science Founation contest where we explaine the math behin the Pixar movie “Up”. Using stop motion animation we explore the plausibility an science behin lifting a house with helium balloons. I like offering a new view an expaning the way people see things. In many of my vieos I combine art with eucation. I want to continue making films that not only entertain, but also make you think.
A lot of people have a single passion that efines them or have a natural talent for something specific. Like my saxophone I am an instrument, but I can play many notes at once. I’m a scholar an a musician. Quiet but talkative. An athlete an a filmmaker. Careful but spontaneous. A fan of Johnny Cash an Kill The Noise. Har working but playful. A martial artist an a baker. One of a kin but an ientical twin.
Will polyphonic notes resonate in college? Yes. For instance, balancing a creative narrative with scientific facts will make a more believable story. I want to bring together ifferent kins of stuents (such as music, film, an English majors) to create more meaningful art. Unerstaning fellow stuents’ perspective, talents, an ieas are what buil a great community.
I’m looking forwar to iscovering my place in the worl by combining various interests. Who I am oesn’t always harmonize an may seem like nothing but noise to some. But what I play, no matter how iscorant, can be beautiful. It’s my own unique polyphonic note.
Amissions Committee Comments
Curtis compares himself to polyphonic souns to convey how he is many things at once: musician, English scholar, filmmaker, an baker, among others. We not only get a goo picture of his personality through his writing, but also what kin of stuent Curtis is—one who thinks across isciplines an has creative ambitions, an someone who wants to contribute to a community. These are qualities we value as an institution; the essay helps us imagine the kin of stuent he might be here at Hopkins.
Esaay 2
Learning How to Play
The first boar game I ever playe was Disney Princess Monopoly against my mother. It was a shocking experience. My otherwise loving an compassionate mother playe to win. Though she patiently explaine her strategies throughout the game, she refuse to show me any mercy, accumulating one monopoly after another, builing house after house, hotel after hotel, an collecting all my money until I was bankrupt, espite my pleas an tears that I was her aughter an only five years ol. I remember clearly the pain I felt from losing, but I remaine eager to play an etermine to one ay beat her. Eventually, we left the princesses behin an grauate to the regular, then the eluxe, eitions of Monopoly, an expane to Rummikub. Every time we playe, I carefully observe my mother’s moves an habits while consiering my own options. Over the years, she continue to beat me in both games, but the contests became more competitive an my losses more narrow. Finally, at twelve, I won for the first time, at Rummikub no less, a game at which she claime to be unefeate! I felt an overwhelming sense of prie, which was only magnifie when I saw the same emotion in my mother’s face.
I learne so much from these games beyon the obvious. I learne how to lose, an win, graciously. I learne to enjoy the process, regarless of the outcome. I learne how to take cues from other people but think on my own, both creatively an strategically. I learne how to cope with failure an turn it into a lesson. I learne that true victory stems from har work an persistence. An I learne that the strongest an most meaningful relationships are not base on inulgence but on honesty an respect.
This oesn’t mean that losses on’t sting. I was evastate when my hockey team lost the championship game by only one goal when I was the last one to control the puck. But I was still increibly prou of my team’s cohesiveness, the flui effort we put into the season, an my own contribution. More importantly, the camaraerie an support of my teammates is ongoing an something I will always cherish more than a win. I in’t well over what coul have been. Instea, I focuse on what I was going to take with me into the next season.
This past summer, I ha my first substantive work experience interning at the Michael J. Fox Founation for Parkinson’s Research, researching an writing about treatments an therapies. Working there was certainly not a game, but my strategy was the same: work har, remain focuse, be minful an respectful of those aroun me, eal with the inevitable curveballs, an take constructive criticism to heart, all in pursuit of a meaningful goal. At first, I foun it intimiating, but I quickly foun my footing. I worke har, knowing that what I took away from the experience woul be measure by what I put into it. I stuie my co-workers: how they conucte themselves, how they interacte with each other, an how they approache their respective jobs. I carefully reviewe relines on my writing assignments, trie not to get iscourage, an respone to the comments to present the material more effectively. I absorbe the stories relaye by Parkinson’s patients regaring their struggles an was amaze at how empowere they felt by their participation in clinical trials. Through them, I iscovere what it really means to fight to win. I have also come to unerstan that sometimes a game never ens but transforms, causing goals to shift that may require an ajustment in strategy.
My mother an I still regularly play games, an we play to win. However, the match is now more balance an I’ve notice my mother paying much more attention to my moves an habits an even learning a few things from me.
Amissions Committee Comments
Rachel escribes how she mastere the values of har work an persistence through experiences of loss an frustration at the han of her mother’s stellar gaming skills. In her essay, we learn about her character growth an etermination. Applying these strategies to other areas of her life, Rachel emonstrates an ability to connect lessons, learn from others, an take on challenges—all important aspects of the college experience.
Esaay 3
Looking Through a Wier Lens
What oes it mean to be an avocate? I in’t fin the answer in any sort of textbook. Not the anatomy textbook that lay across the foot of my be, fille with Post-Its an half-rawn iagrams. Nor the chemistry textbook that sat on top of it, covere in streaks of blue highlighter. Not even Principles of Biology, overflowing with illegible notes an loose worksheets, ha the answer. Yet, in a few years, I will be promising to o just that: be the ultimate avocate for my patients.
My search for the answer began quite unintentionally. When I was initially recommene to serve on the Youth Council my junior year of high school, my perspective on civic engagement was one of apathy an a complete lack of interest. I couln’t unerstan how my passion for the meical fiel ha any correlation with serving as a representative for the stuents at my school an actively engaging within the political sphere. I knew I wante to pursue a career as a physician, an I was perfectly content embracing the safety net of my introverte textbook worl.
But that safety net was rippe wie open the ay I walke through the sliing ouble oors of City Hall for my first Youth Council meeting. I assume I woul spen my hour flipping through flashcars an stuying for next week’s unit test, while a bunch of teenagers complaine about the lack of onuts in the stuent store. Instea, I listene to the stories of 18 stuents, all of whom were using their voices to reshape the istribution of power within their communities an break the structures that chaine so many in a perpetual cycle of esperation an espair. While I spent most of my time poring over a textbook trying to memorize formulas an theorems, they were spening their time using those formulas an theorems to make a ifference in their communities. Neeless to say, that meeting sparke an inspirational flame within me.
The next Youth Council meeting, I aske questions. I gave feeback. I notice what the stuents at my school were really struggling with. For the first time, I went to rug prevention assemblies an helpe my friens run mental health workshops. The more involve I became in my city’s Youth Council, the more I unerstoo how similar being an avocate for your community is to being an avocate for your patients. When I volunteere at the hospital every week, I starte paying attention to more than whether or not my patients wante ice chips in their water. I learne that Deborah was campaigning for equal opportunity housing in a eeply segregate neighborhoo an George was a parameic who injure his leg carrying an 8-year-ol with an allergic reaction to the Emergency Room. I might not have been the octor who iagnose them but I was often the one person who saw them as human beings rather than patients.
Youth Council isn’t something most stuents with a passion in practicing meicine chose to participate in, an it certainly wasn’t something I thought woul have such an immense impact on the way I view patient care. As a patient’s ultimate avocate, a physician must look beyon hospital gowns an IV tubes an see the worl through the eyes of another. Rather than treat iseases, a physician must choose to treat a person instea, ensuring compassionate care is provie to all. While I know that throughout my acaemic career I will take countless classes that will teach me everything from stoichiometry to cellular respiration, I refuse to take the knowlege I learn an simply place it on a flashcar to memorize. I will use it to help those whom I must be an avocate for: my patients.
Amissions Committee Comments
Anushka’s essay goes beyon telling us about her ambition to be a physician by escribing her journey to unerstaning avocacy in all its forms, such as her involvement in civic engagement through Youth Council. An important part of the unergrauate experience at Hopkins is participating in extracurriculars, research projects, internships, an other activities outsie of the classroom. Anushka writes how she learne to be a better avocate by immersing herself in real-worl experiences instea of just memorizing flashcars. Likewise, college is about more than acquiring acaemic knowlege—it’s also about being open to experiences that expan your worlview an iscovering something new about yourself.
